WHAT CAN WE DO AGAINST YOU?
imagine if every delay and every cancellation were intentional. that's the goal of dbsm, the masochistic german train company.
GET YOUR UNIFORM NOW
100 years of history
BRING ADVANCEMENTS IN PHYSICS & A BASELINE HISTORY INCL. (REDACTED) BETWEEN 1933 AND 1945.
APRIL 1920
A POLYAMOROUS LOVE STORY
MULTIPLE TRAIN COMPANIES FROM THE OLD GERMAN EMPIRE DECIDED TO JOIN FORCES AND FORM A POLYCULE, SERVING MILLIONS OF PASSENGERS ACROSS THE WEIMAR REPUBLIC
1933-1945
(REDACTED)
(REDACTED)
1946-1989
ICE WINS THE COLD WAR
IF LIFE GIVES YOU A COLD WAR, YOU TURN INTO ICE. THAT'S WHAT THE WEST GERMAN DEUTSCHE BUNDESBAHN DID, BY DEVELOPING GERMANY'S FIRST HIGH-SPEED, HIGH-DELAY TRAIN NETWORK.
1993
TRUE LOVE WINS
AFTER A LONG 3-NIGHT BENDER IN BERLIN, THE TRAIN COMPANIES FROM EAST GERMANY & WEST GERMANY DECIDED TO GET MARRIED & TURN INTO ONE SINGULAR ENTITY.
JANUARY 2026
DBSM
AFTER YEARS OF DELAYS AND CANCELLED TRAINS, THE COMPANY DECIDED TO EMBRACE ITS KINKS AND RENAME ITSELF TO "DBSM", WITH THE MOTTO "PAIN WITH EVERY DELAY™"
OUR TEAM
ALBERT EINSTEIN
THIS AWARD-WINNING PHYSICIST SPENDS HIS TIME RESEARCHING THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE, IN A PLACE WHERE TRADITIONAL PHYSICS STOP MAKING SENSE: A GERMAN TRAIN STATION.
bahnbledore
THIS TAROT-READING WIZARD USES HIS MAGIC TO PREDICT, WITH LITTLE SUCCESS, IN WHICH PLATFORM YOUR TRAIN IS GOING TO ARRIVE (IF AT ALL).
fairy grandmother
THE GRANDMOTHER'S HARDWORKING FAIRIES ARE CAPABLE OF DELIVERING NOT ONLY MIND-ALTERING SUBSTANCES, BUT ALSO TIMETABLE-ALTERING MIRACLES.
weihnachtsbahnmann
SANTA CLAUS USES DBSM'S SOPHISTICATED CARGO NETWORKS TO DELIVER CHRISTMAS GIFTS TO MILLIONS OF FRUSTRATED PASSENGERS ALL ACROSS GERMANY.
CHAT GPTICKET
WHILE THE REST OF THE COUNTRY STILL RELIES ON FAX MACHINES, DBSM ALREADY IMPLEMENTED THE WORLD'S MOST ADVANCED AI TICKETING SYSTEM: CHATGPTICKET.
open positions
DBSM IS HIRING.
trolley problem solver
Full-timeFIVE PEOPLE ARE TIED TO ONE TRACK. ONE PERSON IS TIED TO ANOTHER. YOU WANT TO RUN OVER AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. DO YOU PULL THE LEVER? WHEN YOUR TRAIN IS DELAYED, YOU WON'T HAVE TO!
delayed train delayer
Full-timeYOUR JOB IS TO FIND NEW AND INNOVATIVE WAYS TO DELAY OUR TRAINS. 100% EFFORT, 0% PUNCTUALITY.
lecker bierchen expert
Full-timeYOUR JOB IS TO MAKE SURE OUR TRAIN RESTAURANTS ARE FILLED WITH INFINITE AMOUNTS OF DELICIOUS LECKER BIERCHEN
our loyalty program: the bahnana-card
GET A 10% DISCOUNT ON ALL ORDERS BY SIGNING UP FOR THE BAHNANA-CARD 10. JUST DROP YOUR E-MAIL BELOW AND ENJOY YOUR SAVINGS!
