you've never seen a book like this

desperate cooking is the most creative cookbook ever made, now translated & remastered as an exclusive hardcover.

limited print. coming out this december.

only

4000

books remaining

get yours before it's too late
€33

*GRANDMOHER'S COMBO: COOKING+DRINKING+BAKING & A FREE COPY OF "DESPERATE GERMAN"

WE'RE ALL A LITTLE BIT DESPERATE

But if your life isn't going according to plan, then why should your cooking be any different?

cook intuitively

with the ingredients you have at home

build your own dishes

with flexible recipes that adapt to your taste

improve your skills

and be prepared for any situation

find new flavours

and learn about the grandmother's addictive spices

a certified banger

thousands of sadbois can verify that this is the best cookbook they've ever seen. don't believe it? then here's some numbers:

15.000+
copies sold

in its first german edition

4.7*
rating

with 97% positive reviews

over 500
illustrations

printed in austria with premium paper

dozens of recipes

and trillions of variations

desperate cooking is much more than just a cookbook. it's a doorway into a new universe, a history lesson, and a therapy session, all at the same time.

01 - THE HISTORY OF COOKING

01 - THE HISTORY OF COOKING

GRAB YOUR TIME MACHINE AND EMBARK ON A QUEST TO RESCUE THE GRANDMOTHER'S FAVOURITE RECIPES.

02 - PREPPING FOR THE APOCALYPSE

02 - PREPPING FOR THE APOCALYPSE

ZOMBIES? CLANKERS? ALIENS? ANOTHER PANDEMIC? AN ORGANISED PANTRY IS YOUR ONLY WAY TO SURVIVE IT.

03 - DESPERATE THERAPY SESSION

03 - DESPERATE THERAPY SESSION

FOOD TOO SALTY? SAUCE TOO BORING? THIS CHAPTER HELPS YOU DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS, IN THE KITCHEN AND IN LIFE.

04 - SPICES FROM THE GRANDMA

04 - SPICES FROM THE GRANDMA

CENTURIES AGO, THE GRANDMOTHER EMBARKED ON A QUEST TO DOMINATE THE GLOBAL DRU.., UH, SPICE TRADE.

05 - THE SECRET SAUCIETY

05 - THE SECRET SAUCIETY

IN THE SHADOWS OF HISTORY, THE SAUCIETÉ HAS BEEN PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD, ONE SAUCE AT A TIME.

06 - VEGETABLE DATING

06 - VEGETABLE DATING

ARE YOU FEELING LONELY? GOOD! HERE YOU'LL MATCH YOUR VEGETABLES AND TURN THEM INTO HAPPY COUPLES.

07 - HEART-WARMING SOUPS

07 - HEART-WARMING SOUPS

OH NO! YOUR EX'S HEART HAS GOTTEN SO COLD, IT MIGHT REVERSE GLOBAL WARMING AND CAUSE A NEW ICE AGE!

08 - ANCIENT ROMAN SALADS

08 - ANCIENT ROMAN SALADS

SALADS ARE THE OLDEST MEALS IN HISTORY: EVEN DINOSAURS USED TO EAT IT! BUT THEN... A CATASTROPHE HAPPENED.

09 - MAGICAL SANDWITCHES

09 - MAGICAL SANDWITCHES

DURING THE DARK AGES, SANDWITCHES USED DARK MAGIC TO TURN PLAIN BREAD INTO DELICIOUS SNACKS.

10 - RADIOACTIVE CURRY

10 - RADIOACTIVE CURRY

IN THE 19TH CENTURY, MARIE CURRY REVOLUTIONISED THE SCIENTIFIC WORLD AND INVENTED... THE CURRY.

11 - RISE OF THE RICE KINGDOMS

11 - RISE OF THE RICE KINGDOMS

OVER THE COURSE OF HUMAN HISTORY, MANY KINGDOMS WOULD RICE, FALL, RICE, FALL, AND RICE AGAIN.

12 - the deep fried state

12 - the deep fried state

IN THE 19TH CENTURY, SOCIETY WAS IN CRUMBLES: IT WAS A BREADING GROUND FOR POLITICAL REVOLUTION.

13 - HOLY PASTA

13 - HOLY PASTA

2.000 YEARS AGO, GOD DESCENDED FROM HEAVEN AND TOLD THE WORLD THAT CARBS ARE THE ONE TRUE RELIGION.

14 - PIE

14 - PIE

PIETAGORAS, AN ANCIENT GREEK MATHEMATICIAN, DISCOVERED THE FORMULA FOR THE PERFECT CIRCLE: THE PIE.

15 - COOKING LIBRARY

15 - COOKING LIBRARY

THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA DIDN'T BURN DOWN. IT GOT COOKED. BUT YOU'LL GET TO SEE IT AGAIN.

this book is a work of art

and no two copies are the same. each one will be signed by the author and feature a unique number, just for you.

4000

books remaining

it's a mixture of cooking, history, fantasy, and comedy, garnished with hundreds of illustrations & hidden details on every page.

four books, one chance

this cookbook is being simultaneously released with a cocktail book & a baking book. and if you buy all 3 at once, the grandmother will bless you with free worldwide shipping & an extra copy of "desperate german".

Skip to product information
desperate cooking

desperate cooking

LIMITED PRE-ORDER. SHIPPING EARLY DECEMBER.
€33

PICK AN OPTION:
Description

the best-selling german cookbook, now translated & completely remastered, featuring several new chapters & lots of new recipes. 
pre-order info

This book is a pre-order. All books will be shipped in December in one single batch. all books will be signed by the author.

Limited print. All books will be numbered.

details
  • ISBN: 978-3-9504964-9-9
  • 256 pages, hardcover
  • Printed in Austria
  • Shipping 12.2025